BEST JOKES

One day sardar bunked office and went to home.. there he saw his boss
along with sardar wife lying on the bed..after looking that scene, he
rushed back to the office and telling to his colleague...
" Oh GOD..Today I was almost caught bunking office"..

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Sardar went to Delhi and filling up an application form... there one
person asked sardar " y u came here to Delhi just to fill up the
application form".. then he replied " wat can i do?? in this form they
mentioned to 'FILL UP IN CAPITALS' "
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Boost:
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Sachin got twins and said its secret of my energy and immediately Sehwag
shouted.. "no no... its secret of our energy"
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A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint
Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in
education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered.
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even
though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But
how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?" The Sardar replied, "Well,
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...." Saint Peter lets him in
without another word
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Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a
conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket
and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an
accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats
but all three engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor
comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says,"Tickets,please!" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after
the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the
return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return
trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket
at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant."Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
When they board the train all three accountants cram into a
restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The
train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his
restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets, please!!!"
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Sardarji walks on the road; suddenly he stands at one place and starts reading what is written on the wall; He keeps on reading many times; It was written :

Padnewala gadha hei

He stands reading the same for a number of times; then he goes and rubbs and rewrites:

LIKHNEWALA GADHA HEI
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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
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Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor

At 50th floor he remembers

I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:

I'm Banta not santa
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A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.

A bystander: why are u laughing?

Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following me.
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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet


Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
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WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?



THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.
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Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.

Sardar says... Drink quickly......

Wife asks why...

sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
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Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa


who died peacefuly in his sleep

not screamin like all d passengers in d car


he was driving..
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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?


Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
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The village-Teacher asked all his students to bring some item of food tomorrow as it was his birthday.
Little Johnny requested his mother to cook something but she refused. Just then a dog began eating the 'KHEER' cooked by her. Mother told
Johnny to take the KHEER as she would not like to use the remaining portion. She packed the KHEER in a clay 'Lota'. The Teacher tasted all the items brought by his students and praised the KHEER as he declared it to be the best. Little Johnny was honest and admitted that, "Kutte ne muh maar diya tha isliye phenkne ki jagah maa ne aapke liye de di." The Teacher threw the 'Lota' on the floor and it broke. Johnny began crying. The Teacher scolded him, "Ek to tune kutte ki juthi Kheer khilayi uspe ro raha hai." Johnny answered, "You broke the Lota, which my father used daily when he went to the Jungle every morning."
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Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta." Sardar"yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
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4 hightech sardar inventions:---
Waterproof towel ---
Solar powered torch---
Book on how to read ----
Pedal powered wheel chair.
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Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what---
To avoid side effect!!!
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Man:sardarji where were u born?
sardarji: punjab.
man: which part.
Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai,whole body is born in
punjab".

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Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha"akal badhi ya bhais
"Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".

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Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door bcoz it was an entrance exam.
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Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.
Banta: give h! im a glass of water.
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Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.

Banta: really what is he studying?

santa: he is not studying they r studying him.
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A Teacher lecturing on population -

In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

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Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth................. WHY?

because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner

should be light"

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Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.

He was not sure as to what to be filled in column

"Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote : Yes!

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Bet between Santa & Banta
Santa: Banta main full confidence ke saath keh sakta hoon ki koi bhi 2 ghante mein Delhi se Agra jaake waapis nahi aa sakta

Banta: Santa meri Maruti 800 gaddi mein bhi yeh kar sakta hoon main

Santa: Theek hai phir sharrth lagaate hain. Agar tu do ghante mein Agra ke Taj Mahal pe jaake waapis aaya to main tujhe paanch hazaar rupaye doonga

Banta: theek hai. Abb 10 baje hain. 11 baje ko jo Ram ki paan ki dukaan hai wahan tu telephone karna.
(Santa speeds away in his Maruti 800)
At 11 am

Santa: Ramu, Banta ek ghante pehle nikla tha udhar pahuncha kya?
Ramu: Jee praaji abhi waapis aa raha hai

Santa is worried abt his loss now

Surprisingly Banta doesnt reach back at 12, 13, 14.... in fact Banta reaches next day at 12:00 noon.

Santa: Yeh main sharrth jeet gaya Par Banta ik baat bata. tujhe jaane mein to ik ghanta laaga parr aane mein itni der kyon laga di???

Banta: Is mein meri koi gallathi nahi hai Santa. Maruti waalon ki gallathi hai. Agge jaane ke liye chaar gear hai peeche aane ke liye sirrff ikk hai
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How do u CUT roads???
By LAUGHING.
Because "Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste"

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Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes
A well. Luv falls into the well. Why?
Because Luv (love) is blind !
Now , Kush also jumps inside. Why
Because Luv ke liye saala kush bhi karega

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Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai? ?
socho. nahi pata
Answer- D'ColdChan ki saans - D'cold
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Chalo ab batao
Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ?
This is quite simple .
Ans: D'Cold again.Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi

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A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question ?

So, Which Platform are you Working on ???
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Q:What will u call a person who is leaving IndiaAnswer
: Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
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Q:What will u call a person who leaves India, but doesn't
travel much
Answer: Hindustan Lever Ltd (Limited).
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Q - RAM SITA HAI . TO RAM KAUN HAI
Ans: TAILOR

Q - SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
Ans: Sita MEMORY hai

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Q -Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha ?
Ans: Adidas.

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Q - What is similarity between "Satynarayan Pooja" and "Indian
Cricket Team"
Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai

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Q - Who is Joe?
"Kambakth ishq" - Because "Kambakth ishq hai Joe!"
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